Early on in my journey with Stuart, I had the strangest experience. I was sleeping one night when I awoke suddenly, and looked up at the ceiling to see a golden radiant head of a man who appeared to be wearing a helmet of some sort.

He was sparkling in a most beautiful way, and looking right down at me. I was so surprised and spooked that I hid under the covers.

Ever since then I have wondered what would have happened had I spoke to him, or just not been so chicken and hung out with him for a while. Stuart said he was a being known in the Aluna worlds as Gildencrest, and for some reason had only appeared to women.

Golden MaskStuart said he came with a body of learning. I was most grateful to the being for visiting me.

That experience taught me to try and stay steady even when things are getting a little bit freaky. You never know what might happen next; it is well to be ready. (L.J.)

One thing that I learnt through Stuart's teaching in the Redeemer’s Club is the power of prayer. Recently, I started to state in my prayers that I was open and willing to be of service, whatever that entailed, and that I would honour my divinity and I was ready to do whatever I was required to do.

This process below happened shortly after doing that, and I believe it is connected to that change in the focus of my prayers.

I was driving and listening to the news bulletin on the radio, which was of the situation in Gaza, when a process started in me which was very full on.

I had the sensation in my chest of an empty kind of panic. It became very hard to breathe. I was brought to tears but it was a sensation different from that, much lower emotionally than just tears more despairing. I found I had to breathe it through my chest. I could hear the word “Gaza” coming from the right.

On my right I saw many Palestinian people appearing to me, all speaking, or crying, lamenting their pain and the grief they were feeling for their loved ones, who had died. One man came, holding the body of a child in his arms, he was crying and saying, 'they have no mercy, they have no mercy'.

Then there was a woman, who was crying in front of a body, it was her cousin. She spoke of him that he was a good man; he had loved his family, his children. Then I would have the sensation of the dead body passing through my chest. It was very strange, and very full on, I had to stop driving. I was struggling to breathe. The person would appear then on my left with a radiance, the blood gone.

One after the other came like this. Sometimes the person who was speaking felt like they were inside me too, I could feel everything that they were feeling, it was a mixture of deep grief and a lot of fear, as one would imagine anyone would feel in such a traumatic situation.

I asked what the purpose of this suffering was and heard 'the hatred of humanity is coming out now'. That made sense to me, I heard it over and over, and saw that on both sides of the conflict. It was incredibly intense, and I had to keep affirming that I was willing to take the pain, and sometimes I would hear the words 'you are strong enough' just when I was feeling nearly overwhelmed by it.

It lasted in that way for nearly an hour. A lot of people spoke and also I was hearing a lot of crying and screaming. It was most upsetting and extraordinary the way it felt in my chest, there is really nothing I can compare it to.

I spoke to Stuart about it and he said that another member had also gone through a process similar the previous night, which he had felt was connected to Gaza as well, that made me wonder at the mechanism of this stuff, and it reassured me once again that as Stuart has always said 'it is all real'. It is useful to remember that when things happen that are so strange they cause one to question one's sanity!

It was a very great honour to bear witness to the suffering of those people who appeared to me. I had the feeling that it is something that we all can do. We just have to agree to take the pain and offer our radiance, to help to process the enormous charge of trauma and pain that exists around wars and disasters in the world.

I am not sure if it will take it away, but I suppose it helps.

Lizzy J.